Tips to help your kids become more assertive.

By Cheryl Kives Guidance Counsellor

Cathy Kryczka journalist for Today’s Parent, writes that although parents love kids who are obedient,  kids that are too agreeable do not stand up for themselves or voice there own opinion.  These kids can be picked on, or get hurt because they don’t speak up because of fear of losing their friendship.

 It is important that kids learn to be assertive and here are a few tips suggested by Krcycka to help.

♦ Ask what your child thinks.  You can ask them, “Is this a good choice for you?”  This will help them stop and sort out what they want versus what they think their parents want.

♦ Help your child identify his talents.

 Point out your child’s strengths beyond being good at a sort or clever in school.   Perhaps your child is good at paying attention to detail. Kids who are too compliant need to be reminded that they are unique and are entitled to their own likes and dislikes.

♦ Really listen to your child.  

 If your child tells you he went along with something he didn’t want to do.  You can tell them that next time it is ok for them to say no.  You can tell

them to say,  “I would rather do something else right now, but thanks anyways.”

♦ Notice their spine.

Every time your child stands up for themselves and shares their opinion, make sure you praise them even though you may disagree with them.

For more information on this topic and parenting tips

12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know (English) by  Dr.Michelle Borba

(Getting Back to Basics And Raising Happy Kids - ISBN: 9780787980962)

Today’s Parent  February 2009   www.todaysparent.com